'twill unfold.

On Monday, I woke up to over 900 new emails that indicated listings have been added to my online directory. I was filled with wonder at this strange happening, as in the average week I get no more than 4 new entries. Needless to say, this was an onslaught of SPAM and all but one of the first 12 listings were advertising a fake hymen prosthesis.

So, I was curious and googled this artificial hymen thingie. “Kiss your dark secret goodbye in 5 minutes for only $29.95.” “Marry in confidence – your secret is kept.” “In a few moans and groans you will pass through undetectable.” Oh. My. Gosh!

Self-acceptance is a journey that takes different turns on a more or less long and winding road for each individual. I understand that we all have aspects of ourselves with which we are uncomfortable, but it is so dreadful that the main purpose of this ‘prosthesis’ is to deceive another person. So heartbreaking that former sexual experiences are described as one’s “dark past” and need to be hidden. So ridiculous that the marketers of this Chinese hymen explicitly state that one must “place it inside the vagina”, then caution that “this product is for external use only”.

I was born with a vagina. For almost all of my teenage life, I regretted this fact and considered my femaleness [and the not-so-pleasant frills that came along with it] a curse. Exposure to the experiences of other women, though, has caused me to become more grateful for my circumstances. I’ve also had many opportunities for heightened awareness and experienced positive sharing environments, which have made me more embracing of my womanhood, despite societal conditioning.

My vagina is a symbol of strength and potential, it is beautiful, capable, delicate, and most importantly, it is mine. I accept my vagina as I accept my black skin, wooly hair, chipped tooth and quirky family. Perhaps someday I will learn otherwise but at this point in my life deceit has no benefit to my happiness, ecstasy or memory.

Regret will always be present in humans and as far as I know our experiences cannot truly be undone. If your virginity is among the things you wish to take back, I am very sorry for you. I will not try to convince you of my ideals but I encourage you to live your life in a manner that satisfies your own conditions. I understand that in many cultures this hymen on wedding night [or lack thereof] is a serious matter, but my stance does not change- be honest with yourself, your partner and your vagina.

Walk good, and in the words of RHCP, “I love all of you.”

Recently, I have had reason to examine the procedures governing the adoption of children in Jamaica. While doing so, I discovered that the laws were biased in favour of single women and married couples. I found it disconcerting that single men were not allowed to adopt female Jamaican children unless in exceptional situations. On an average day, I am ‘feministically inclined’ so it also puzzled me that I was not comfortable with this situation. It led me to ponder the question “What do Jamaicans expect of men?” Why are single men less worthy than single women to care for children who are not biologically theirs?

I decided to run the question by some of my Facebook friends. The general consensus that men are not considered to be nurturing, they are seen as a source of financial income and physical strength. They are perceived as irresponsible, unruly, disorganized and more likely to be criminals – murderers, thieves and swindlers – than parents. Let me point out at this juncture that Jamaica is not the only country that discriminates against single men in the adoption process; I still believe strongly that we should never underestimate the vices of women.

I also pondered whether the ‘average’ Jamaican man would even consider adopting a child. With the prevalence of what I like to call ‘Virility Music’ – dancehall lyrics that promote frequent and vigorous heterosexual intercourse with multiple partners – a man would be labelled as sterile or gay should he attempt to ‘commit’ such an unthinkable act. Perhaps if a single man expressed interest in adopting a child, he would be suspected of paedophilia.

The relationship between our expectations and reality could be considered a lot like the chicken/egg situation. People anticipate and react based on previous experiences and traditions. It is also true that our expectations and attitudes can influence the actions and general behaviour of those around us. It is a difficult cycle to ponder. Chief among the causes of Jamaica’s various social ills is that we do not expect much from our men. In this arena we need to adopt Digicel’s slogan “Expect More. Get More.”

Please examine the below photograph of Robert and his three boys. I met them at the beach where he was watching over them as they played around in the water and sand. I remain encouraged.

I strongly believe that if we persuade our men to believe in their capabilities there would be more admirable men and an even more beautiful Jamaica. Perhaps it is the smoke from my flamingly patriotic heart that has clouded my eyes but I still have great expectations for my country and I do believe that one day she will live up to them.

It certainly feels wonderful to have made it to 2011. New Years were never significant to me until 1999 when I was only 11 and it was widely thought that the world as we know it was going to come to an end at the dawn of the new millennium.  Nothing happened. I have lived 11 more years and doomsday has now moved to December 21, 2012.

I am not convinced that anyone is aware of when exactly the world will end and I do not think it matters whether we know or not. What we all know that we will die sooner or later, thus it is important to take life one day at a time and try to enjoy every bit of it while it lasts. It is also essential that we take care of the earth we have been endowed with, and try to make it as safe as possible for those who will use it after we have departed.

If you have been following my last few posts, you will have realised that photography is among my hobbies. I have decided to, for 2011, take a photo on each day of the year in order to document my life and develop my skills. The first week was quite interesting, I was greatly discouraged at the start of it and I had a few sick days as well but I persevered. I hereby invite you to accompany me on the journey.

Happy New Year

It has become a trend, that wherever I wield my camera, I collide with dreadlocked men who think I have the power to help them fulfill their hopes. A week ago, I met a man who was searching for love, and on Saturday I met another who was searching for a power saw.

I often visit Milk River Hotel & Spa in Clarendon, Jamaica and on each occasion I meet Alvin Morgan, or Prince, a man famous for having befriended the crocodiles and infamous for the potent roots drinks he prepares and sells. On my first visit, I was very enthusiastic to see the crocodiles and asked one of the spa’s attendants about a river tour. I was informed that there was no river tour, but Prince could call them [the crocodiles] for me.

He did manage to get one crocodile to surface, but on subsequent visits he refused “true dem a kill off the people dem.”

So, on Saturday Prince spotted my companion and got him to buy some of his roots. When I caught up with them, Prince was expectantly posing with a bottle of bitters; I was inordinately polite and asked him if I could take his picture. “Me think you take it a’ready,” was his response. “Big me up so me can get lucky, you hear,” Prince continued while I photographed him, “cause anything possible.”

I wasn’t exactly sure what his intended luck was, until he resumed his conversation with my companion [see videos below].
Prince explained that the condition of the road to Milk River had reduced the number of visitors to the bath, thus affecting the sales on his roots drinks. He desires the mobility of a motorcycle in order to take his product to Portmore, but first he needs a power saw.

Below Prince shares success stories of his roots designed to boost male and female fertility.

I certainly hope Prince acquires the motorcycle, although I don’t support what he intends to do with the power saw. If you would like to buy some roots drinks or assist Prince with getting a motorcycle, feel free to contact him at +1-876-461-0576