On Monday, I woke up to over 900 new emails that indicated listings have been added to my online directory. I was filled with wonder at this strange happening, as in the average week I get no more than 4 new entries. Needless to say, this was an onslaught of SPAM and all but one of the first 12 listings were advertising a fake hymen prosthesis.
So, I was curious and googled this artificial hymen thingie. “Kiss your dark secret goodbye in 5 minutes for only $29.95.” “Marry in confidence – your secret is kept.” “In a few moans and groans you will pass through undetectable.” Oh. My. Gosh!
Self-acceptance is a journey that takes different turns on a more or less long and winding road for each individual. I understand that we all have aspects of ourselves with which we are uncomfortable, but it is so dreadful that the main purpose of this ‘prosthesis’ is to deceive another person. So heartbreaking that former sexual experiences are described as one’s “dark past” and need to be hidden. So ridiculous that the marketers of this Chinese hymen explicitly state that one must “place it inside the vagina”, then caution that “this product is for external use only”.
I was born with a vagina. For almost all of my teenage life, I regretted this fact and considered my femaleness [and the not-so-pleasant frills that came along with it] a curse. Exposure to the experiences of other women, though, has caused me to become more grateful for my circumstances. I’ve also had many opportunities for heightened awareness and experienced positive sharing environments, which have made me more embracing of my womanhood, despite societal conditioning.
My vagina is a symbol of strength and potential, it is beautiful, capable, delicate, and most importantly, it is mine. I accept my vagina as I accept my black skin, wooly hair, chipped tooth and quirky family. Perhaps someday I will learn otherwise but at this point in my life deceit has no benefit to my happiness, ecstasy or memory.
Regret will always be present in humans and as far as I know our experiences cannot truly be undone. If your virginity is among the things you wish to take back, I am very sorry for you. I will not try to convince you of my ideals but I encourage you to live your life in a manner that satisfies your own conditions. I understand that in many cultures this hymen on wedding night [or lack thereof] is a serious matter, but my stance does not change- be honest with yourself, your partner and your vagina.
Walk good, and in the words of RHCP, “I love all of you.”