The end of the world draweth nigh and thy beloved Karee hath decided to look within herself, figuratively, to see if there be any reason why the Lord mayest deny her entry into the Kingdom that cometh tomorrow.
The very first reason I have found is the mere fact that I do not want to go anywhere- not until September after I have seen Sting1 live and in living color anyway. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind the rapture if somehow Freddie Mercury were raised from the dead and Queen put on a grand concert to herald the King’s return [Michael Jackson?, James Brown?, Elvis?]. Celia Cruz would be a great opening act and certainly Bob Marley has to be there to perform “Buffalo Soldier” while Willie Nelson sneaks a puff from his Chillum then limbers up for his final and most glorious performance of “On the Road Again”. Certainly people like Vybz Kartel and Pamputtae will not even have the status of mere memories on such a glorious day. *Snapping out of it* Sorry for getting carried away.
I also have too much laundry to make it to heaven and I HATE washing whites. The Bible has commanded that we “wash our robes” in order to make it before the Throne of God. I did ask my religious advisor2 about this and she said it wasn’t literal so I guess I have a loophole there. She says it means being purified as a result of having gone through great trials, if this be true I can’t think of a better washed robe then than mine, but I still don’t want to go anywhere until September.
I don’t know what God has up his sleeves and I am sure that Harold Camping doesn’t either so I have decided to stop pondering this issue, plus I have work to get on with. If you are among the believers, it is too late to ask for the deed to your house so I will not bother; instead you can leave me a comment justifying tomorrow being the end and the advantages of being among the ‘raptured’.
Happy Judgement, Camping’s followers and to my Jamaicans who still plan to be around please help out in one of your communities’ Labour Day Projects on Monday which will focus on our children. Judgment day or not, walk good.